Redundant Topic... again.

Okay, so ever since my sister got married, things about marriage have been in the talks here at Casa Yu almost every week. Be it for my elder brother or for me (but not much about me though since they're more focused on finding a suitable bride for my elder brother).

Right now, I'm pretty much not worried (yet) about the concept of marriage because I'm FAR from ready. (Then again, my sister did say she wasn't when she got married O.o). But the talks I have with my parents sometimes goes all serious-mode and they'd always, always tell me to not rush and to not get married to a "complicated" person! ^_^ wahahahaha~ they should be really worried more about the concept of "IF there really will be" a person! ^_^ hahahaha! (Aah, parents.)

Truth be told, I do... Yes, I do want to get married. And if I am blessed to get married early. Then, yes, I do want to get married early.

Thoughts like these never really occurred to me until my sister got married. I was suddenly pulled into the thought of her new life too! Right now, I feel like I am also in a new chapter of my life where I get to see a glimpse of the married life by seeing how my sister is handling things right now.

Frankly and obviously, it is scary. The thought of having kids, saving money, planning insurances, getting a job to fit the family's needs... I don't even know where to begin planning if I have been in my sister's shoes! And being the person that I am, I don't delve into things that I haven't planned out step-by-step. Getting married and raising a family is ONE HELL OF A HUGE step I'm not ready to take yet! O_O

But what really got to me... was when I saw the sleeping face of my first nephew.

Watching the soft heaving chest of a little baby boy from behind the glass window of the nursery at the hospital, rising up and down slowly while his little arms and legs moved slowly about.

Somehow, I understood how my brother-in-law felt when I saw him shedding tears when he saw his first son. It brought tears to my eyes too.

That was my moment of epiphany and moment of longing that yes, I want to get married. To have that special someone beside me as I give birth to my own child. To raise my own child with that special someone. To see my child grow. To see my child playing with his/her grandparents. To see my parents carry my child in their arms. To have my own family.

And while I long for having this oh-so-fairy tale story of love and romance that probably every girl dreams of, I simply want to cut short all drama and just share the happiness of having a family.

As more conversations and experiences arise that my sister has experienced, I have learned a few insights from her that I will be able to avoid when it'll be my turn (that is, if I will be blessed by one).

Right now, what worries me most is my monetary issues. I don't think I can raise a family yet with my very low income. As of the moment, I am looking for other ways to earn money to make a living. Hopefully, what I'm doing right now will be of good use for my future.